fraaandship!

So here I am, on yet another Sunday that seems to come and go like the trucks on the national highway in India. They just ride along and people along the highway hardly even notice them. Sundays are something like that too, hardly noticed nowadays.And as my good friend Nisha rightly predicted,  I end up getting up early morning and thinking what to do. I finally end up with a novel in the loo to help me pass time. Oh before you go all “eeeewww!!”, don’t think I don’t I know you’ve done that too. After all, having a long relaxing loo-trip is indeed a luxury for all working people. ‘Sheesh!’ you say? Well, I say “just wait till you start working pal…and then you’ll know what I am talking about!!”.

Another weekend, another AMC12 trip, another movie. Watched ‘The Grey’ yesterday. Liam Neeson packs in a power-packed performance as always. Intense movie but I would’ve wanted a better ending than the current one. The movie still manages to hold  your attention till the last moment and which is precisely why the ending could’ve been better.  Ok..so enough movie talk for this blog. I am sorry, it’s just that I’ve been watching so many new movies (one every weekend…compared to the 3 movies I watched in Rolla during my entire three-semester stay there! ) that I just had to share something about at least one of them.

I wanted to write a deeply-thought out blog this time but I guess I won’t be doing that. Don’t have the patience for that today. Maybe next time. So I’ll be pretty much just ranting about foolish, and small things that I’ve come across in the recent past. Kindly adjust. I would, at this point warn you that this particular blog is just going to waste your time..but then, which previous blog of mine hasn’t?! hehehehehe. *No I won’t use LOL for that, I am against using LOL. I prefer the much more realistic laughter*

kind of sums it up :)

The other day I was having a conversation with my best friend Mr.Lee (his real name is something else but I like calling him Mr.Lee on my blogs…and in case you are wondering, No, he’s not a chinki. He’s as Indian as you can ever get). So, it was our typical conversation with us tripping over each other at every available chance, taking dirty jabs at each other over and over again, to the point that neither of us have any more derogatory things to say for each other.

That’s when I realized that the foundation of our friendship was on these very highly idiotic conversations. These very brainless and insult-filled conversations that we shared is what makes us best friends. I really can’t have such conversations with any other human in the world, chiefly because I cannot insult people like the way I can with mr.Lee.

Friendship isn’t created. It just happens. A chance encounter with a fellow newbie in class can turn into one of the strongest and humbling relations you can have with  another human. For me, friendship is about bitching about my best friend to my best friend and then the next instant talking about how cool the latest movie was. It’s about being as spontaneous as that damn chicken that suddenly becomes possessed and tries to cross a road when you are driving down at top speed.

This one’s to all those people who know that no matter what they do, they’ll always have one person in the world who will take their side – their best friend!

Peace!

I Baked a Christmas

The Christmas tree at Harshita's place that I helped decorate

So, it’s Christmas and a non-white one at that. I will have to grudgingly agree that a white-Christmas would have been a welcome change from the cold-lazy-days that I have become accustomed to off late making me fall in love …with my bed.

Most of my peeps are out of town on vacation. While most of them are in some aunt or uncle’s place in NewYork, Philadelphia  , others have gone back to India for the winters. Those lucky buggers! So that leaves me alone in this town with hardly a soul to talk to. I won’t lie, It can get really lonely out here sometimes. So I have been trying to chalk up plans for Christmas day and trying to find something to do that really makes me feel …well..’Christmasy’. After a lot of pondering , and struggling with my head to keep myself away from facebook.com (for the half an hour that it took me to home-in on what to do on Christmas), I finally decided that I’d bake.

Oh yeah, you heard me..bake! I started baking last week and had already dished out some pies, oatmeal cookies (by Ritesh, my roommate) and the highlight of my baking-spree, the Banana-almond cupcakes and the banana-almond bread (my sister’s recipe). So this time, I decided that I’d bake simple white cup-cakes (you know, the ones available in every bakery in India, those light brown ones).

So I got up today morning, fresh after a long nine hour sleep (winters can do that to you allright!!), had some cereal for breakfast and set about arranging my ingredients in an orderly manner. I happen to be one of those people who like having their ingredients ready and in separate bowls (like them cookery-shows). I started around 1pm and after a few hits and misses, I was finally done with three batches of white-cup-cakes by 4pm. The first batch turned out impressively well but the latter batches were stubborn and did not follow on the same lines, unfortunately. (Bake tip: when using Baking ‘soda’ in your recipe, bake the ingredients immediately. Leaving the batter after mixing allows the acid to start fermenting or something and the cake can go the ‘what-the-hell-happened-there’ly way).

My main intention around baking three batches of cup-cakes was to give the cup-cakes to my good friends who are still here in town. I did just that and dutifully wished each one of them ‘Merry Christmas’ when handing the cup-cakes.  They were really thankful and that alone made my day and the 4 hours I spent in the kitchen, all worth the effort.

While making the awesomely-awesome cup-cakes (what?! I love boasting about those cup-cakes ok?), I realized that I really enjoyed cooking  / baking so much. Yes, cooking needs effort and time, and in most of the tasty-dishes, some painstaking preparation time too. But it’s one of those few things where hard-work can really visibly pay off and you can have a good time at the end of it, digging into that tasty dish you just whipped up.

lookin good fellas.. :)

Baking, now sits near the top of ‘my favorite things to do’, right up there with reading a good book, having an intense and thought provoking conversation with a good friend, and of course- sleeping. I don’t claim to be the best baker in town, or even the best in my friends-circle, but I sure can dish up a decent cup-cake. Here, check out the photos of the cup-cakes that I made today..

Merry Christmas everyone! J

Facebook'ing Tips

I doubt if there is any college student out there today who hasn’t heard of facebook. Almost everyone who has heard of it are also probably using this super-popular social networking website and helping Mr.Zuckerberg laugh his way to the billion dollar bank accounts.

I'll admit...I spend a lot of time on facebook. Being so far away from home, I rely on this website to keep in touch with a lot of my friends from back home.
However, I do keep bumpig into some really lame and annoying 'occurances' on facebook. I am pretty sure you too must have often come across some really really dumb instances on facebook. Things that people do and put up that's just a smelly load of bullcrap and makes you  want to roll up your eyes and say 'Weirdo!!' . So today, I’ll be offering some tips  to those few who actually read my articles every week, about how not to become a douchebag on facebook.
Note: I am not claiming to being a pro at facebook’ing and neither am I claiming that I am completely, utterly and compulsorily correct.

So here is the 'gyaan'  (Oh and it FREE by the way...  :

1. You update your facebook status message. I’m fine with that, completely fine. But you cannot and must not ever ‘like’ your own status message after updating it. The same applies to updating your relationship status or adding a photo and then liking it yourself first. Dude, that is just pure dumb. It only shows how obsessed you are with you own sad darn life.

2. This one’s related to relationship status as well. Please do not be so desperate for attention

and ‘facebook alerts’ (the tiny red comic bubble with that magic number in white inside it signifying

that there is, after all, someone who actually ‘cares’ about you and what you do) so as to update your relationship status to ‘engaged’ or ‘in a relationship’ and then changing it back to ‘it’s complicated’ .

Personally, there’s no such thing as  it's complicated in relationships. You are either ‘in’ or ‘out’, so man up and face the truth, buddy.

3. Never put up a status message that reads BRB . No one really cares man? There is probably no one in this universe who cares if you have gone for a washroom-break for a minute. You are not going to be missed. So please, BRB is a strict no-no as a status message.

4. Adding a profile picture that shows you clicking a picture of yourself in a mirror, with you staring at the cellphone screen in your hand is lame. Come on man, you have more than a hundred friends and that not one of them had five seconds to spare to click a decent picture of you? Really?

5. Keeping a continuous tab on the newly added ‘tickr’ sidebar and then claiming to have caught your friend ‘like’ing and then remove like (unlike) your status message (Yes, people actually do that) is not the right thing to do. Stalker!!

6. Becoming the first person to like the ‘new picture added’ by that hot girl in your class will definitely not put you on the speedboat to her heart my friend.

7. Do not ever leave a message that says "hey..have u chkd out dis hot chick xyz on ma friend list yet? " on your friend’s public wall. First of all, those braindead english spellings there, do NOT show that you are 'cool and hip and one of those sms people' . Next, the profiles are ‘public’ if you remember, so you typing all that horseshit on your friend's wall is visible to everyone on your friend's list man. If you however, DO intend to so that, then I have just one word for you - 'ShowOff!!'

8. Spamming your own photo with lots of comments on some silly issue that is not even slightly related to what is in the photo, in order to get into our walls in the ‘top new stories’ is not a good idea, please. If you have something to talk about, do it on your wall or as a private message conversation. We really do not care what your cat had for lunch written beneath a picture of you in the Bahamas with holding a pina-colada. That is the definition of ‘they don’t go together’.

So, all you facebooking folks out there, Pray keep these tips in mind to avoid being viewed as an obnoxious individual with an obesessive compulsive disorder to put up the most unwanted status messages on facebook earning the ‘facebook douchebag of the year’.

special thanks to my 'brethar' Murali Gumpeny for proofreading this blog for me.. cheers bro!
peace..
;-)

Barber bhaiiya...

I've always been fond of short hair on my head. But like most other Indian youngsters who have been through college, I've had my share of 'trying-to-grow-long hair' days and attempts of masquerading the hair so that I looked less like Abdul Kalam and more like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2.

The last time I had tried growing my hair long, a fellow and one of my prettiest classmate had commented rather rudely that I needed a haircut and that I looked like one of those villian's sidekicks from south-Indian movies. That was that, I never attempted to grow my hair long again (at least not intentionally).

I have been kinda infamous amongst my family (immediate family and the extended one too.....far far extended) for visiting a saloon or 'Barber shop' as it's more commonly known in middle-class India-  to get a haircut at least twice a month...that's once every fortnight. Of course, I would confidently defend myself by saying that I had a thick mane of hair and that my hair grew faster than other mortals (I still think it's true btw). My mom and siblings made it a point to humiliate my publicly by saying that I didn't even look like I had had a haircut (this was right after I got home from a saloon...freshly trimmed hair  et al. ) thus hereby questioning my decision to get a haircut and 'waste' Rs.20 (Rs.10 before soft and proud hair started sprouting above my upper lip).

The funny thing is that I have almost never been satisfied with a haircut that I had get. There have hardly been four or five occasions where I remember getting that perfect haircut ....the one that I had envisioned. Our desi-barbers seem to have a mind of their own when cutting our hair and not to mention the scissor in his had has a mind of its own. No matter how many times and in how ever many languages you tell them how you need the hair to look after he's done cutting it, he would nod vigorously and set about cutting the hair just the way HE liked and not how you'd have liked, all the while listening intently to the discussion on the radio about how houseflies can be tamed or whatever. And you end up looking like you’re taming a porcupine on your head or sometimes are left squinting at your reflection to see if there’s actually hair up there or is it a layer of charcoal dust the the ‘naai’ peppered when you weren’t looking. The barber though with so much pride in his eyes that you begin to doubt if the government has awarded him the Padma Bhushan or something. The sad thing about haircuts is once it’s messed up, you’re as screwed as that harry potter guy minus his wand in front of Voldermort. There's no going back-- only wait for the jeers you'd get from your friends at school the next day, from family members who think you are ridiculously wasting 80% of their income on haircuts, and from your neighborhood stray cum pet dog who would growl at you as you walk past it on your way back from the saloon showing its distaste of your new haircut. You suddenly go from being ‘that crazy fellow from the last bench’ to ‘that guy with the funniest haircut…haa haa haa’…..God I so used to hate it when that happened.  

Now, after having moved to USA, I found to my utter disbelief, like most other Indians there, that each haircut costs more than 20 times than what I paid for in India (after we convert the USD to INR). Wow! I will have to get used to haircuts only once every few months. It's going to be more difficult than getting over drugs at a rehab center, but I think I will live through it. God will give me the strength to live through this... sniff. I am almost used to it now btw.

Reality-bites ..

As soon as the clock strikes 8pm, most of the TV channels in India switch from their pallu-clad-saas-bahu-serials to the 'reality shows' every day.

They've had reality shows for singing and dancing since quite some time now (I do consider TVS  sa-re-ga-ma on Zee tv a reality show hmpf! ) but channels and their overpaid-overintelligent-overcreative staff off late have started rolling out a buffet (quite literally) of reality shows ranging from talent shows (anyone can do anything....Am actually planning to go and show my talent of counting from 1-20 in one single breath!! ) , cooking, dare-devil stunts on bikes and helicopters,stand-up- comedy and even marriage.

So the general public in apna-Bharat-mahaan now churns out 'reality-show-stars' faster than that mouse in your attic churns out tiny hairless 'mouselings'. People can dance their way to semi-stardom, cook their way into your friendly-neighborhood-dhaba, marry their way into some bizarre household that has the mother-in-law decked in more make-up than Simi Garewal or even jump into a pitiful of shit as a daredevil stunt and find themselves starring in Slumdog millionaire part 2.

The other thing I find quite disturbing about these shows are their judges or a.k.a- guru, master, dancemaster, chef-master, chaddi-master, fartmeister etc. etc. They seem to be graduates of Subhash Ghai's Whispering willows or whatever acting school and have hence mastered the art of giving out appalled expressions performance after performance (I bet they can give apni Amisha Patel a good run for her money on a one on one keep-repeating-the-same-expression-over-n-over-again-contest). These judges can give out a barrage of the same feedback in so many different ways that it would put Shakespere and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to shame.  The pure dumbness of their comments just for the sake of increasing TRP', which includes having a verbal-tussle or two with the fellow            judge every now and then, can be edited and telecasted separately as 'Indian Judgment show' that I am sure will attain even greater TRP ratings than the WWE (formerly known to all Indian kids as WWF) itself.   Wonder how the judge of the 'Comedy Circus' - Archana Puran Singh keeps laughing over and over again at some of the world's saddest jokes. Me thinks, she secretly inhales laughing gas every now and then when the camera isn't focusing on her wide jaw. 

With that being said and done...I urge the TV channels to show some more sensible programs that involve more than just people cooking tuar-dal, singing 'munni badnaam hui' without even the decency of showing the video when the participant is singing this song, or jumping into a bed of scorpions and later sobbing about how one of the scorpions almost ate her up, and the judges gawking with the most artificial acting in the universe.

Gotta go now....going to watch 'megastructures' on Discovery channel (Now THAT is a show!)

peace!

COMICS-NOSTALGIA

My grandma has been wanting to throw away some stuff from the store-room in order to accommodate the ever-swelling 'junk' that each household magically keeps producing at a steady and unstoppable pace. I was given the duty to clear away some old boxes that apparently contained things from my childhood.
Upon opening one of the boxes, I found a bundle of comic magazines. Comics are how I had been introduced to the world of 'Reading' and I have always been fond of them.
I very fondly remember the times when I used to devour these comics at a rate faster than than I used to gulp down food.

FLASHBACK: imagine the following in a crackling black and white movie frame:
I am all set to journey to my grandparent's place in Bhopal, from Coimbatore (a 20 hour journey). My excitement of visiting my beloved grandparents is peaks with the fact that I will get to read comics on the train. Now, in 'those' days, I was allowed to afford the luxury of a comic if and only if we were travelling by train (my parents later confessed that the comics kept me from jumping out of the train at every station that the train stopped).
So there I was, entering the railway station...one hand being held firmly in the confident but relaxed grip of my dad and the other swaying happily by my side like a dog's wagging tail. I knew the exact location of the book-store in the railway station and prided myself at being able to get to it even blindfolded. I knew that the train would arrive only half an hour after we had stepped into the station (which I thought the train did on purpose by the way). So I started looking in the direction of the book-stand. My dad sensing my desperation to hold a comic in my hands, smiled down at me and took me straight to the book-stall.
I happily bought myself a Tinkle 'digest' and two Chacha Chowdhary comics.
Ah! I was feeling like a king now, clinging on to the comics like they were worth more than my life. The rest of the journey I do not remember too well....it's all hazy with me buried into the comics and noticing almost nothing else.

OK...Now you can come back to the present day...full-color picture in HD ...

Chacha Chowdhary and Tinkle. :) who doesn't remember them? They've been one of the most important memories  of every child who grew up in the 90's. Quite honestly, these comics were some of my most treasured posessions till a very long time. They were almost like my best friends. The Chacha Chowdhary comic's  trademark one liners 'A volcano erupts in Jupiter when Sabu gets angry', or 'Chacha Chowdhary's brain works faster than a computer'  were their unique-selling-points. Every child loved these characters and even sometimes wished to be as intelligent as the Chacha himself. Then there was Tinkle with its 'Tantri the Mantri'  with his ever-failing plots to assassinate or get rid of his king (which rhymes really well btw) and 'Suppandi'  the simple village-lad with his never-ending goof-ups. The jokes at that age seemed so funny but now seem to be pretty lame and I chuckle to myself thinking 'how did I find these jokes even funny?' Then there were numerous other comics from the 'Diamond comics' (which were quite a rage in the 90's) stable like  Billoo, Captain Vyom,  Chotu Lambu which were also quite popular.

Anyway, the fact remains that these comics definitively occupy a vast part of my childhood memories and I will always be fond of comics no matter how old I grow. Only now, the comics have shifted to the more radical and 'cooler' super-hero genre. :D Everytime I see a Chacha Chowdhary comic or a Tinkle Digest somewhere, It unknowingly triggers a wave of nostalgia as I find myself back on a railway station as a 11 year old waiting for my dad to buy me my 'treasures'
:)

Wedding planners..

So, my sister’s wedding was successful and went smoothly without any major glitches or hiccups. I must say, all the forewarnings by my brothers (those with prior experience of helping with their sister’s marriage) did live up to their hype as my sister’s wedding kept me super-hyper-ultra-busy the last three weeks.

Taking care of the transport logistics alone cost me most of my time as I had to deal with the six hired vehicles and two of our own (totaling upto nine vehicles).

Here are some of the tips and things that a guy who has the responsibility of his sister’s wedding should know or be aware of….also some point from the following are my own observations and realizations from the entire event.

The e-invitation that I personally designed and created for my sister's wedding===========>>

1-      Learn MS Excel and become proficient in its use including the keyboard shortcuts. It makes life a lot easier when you will be needed to keep tab on a ton of things during the marriage.

2-      If you are a US returned brother/son—then you are expected to magically appear upto three* tones fairer than even your rich-A/C-house-dwelling-uncle and his family.

*conditions apply  

3-      Always keep a notepad handy with you along with a pen who will most likely become your best friend in the weeks leading upto the wedding.

4-      Be prepared to become the bargaining leader of your family (getting trained under the current-bargain-champion-naani would be a good idea to get started).

5-      you can kiss all the lip-smacking hot food being served on the marriage day goodbye as you will become one of the last persons at the wedding to eat that day after having taken care of all the proceedings.

6-      Maintaining a good relationship with the drivers of the vehicles, the security guard, the pan-wala, the banquet manager at the hotel where the wedding is going to be and the caterer will really help smoothen things out (thank you Abhishek Chowdhary for that valuable tip)

7-      Never walk beside a stranger on the road who has either a cough problem or a tobacco-chewing habit.

8-      You will appear in only 2% of the photos clicked on the night of the wedding.

9-  Get ready to be absent from Facebook and twitter for at least a week (yeah...it's tough...but you gotta do what you gotta do :-)
10- Have a backup pair of footwear hidden in a back-pack and keep them close to you...you never know when your current footwear might become a victim of 'mistaken identity' or when they might become the 'object of desire' for your friendly neighborhood stray dog.

Well, I guess that’s all about it …I did have a good time working exceptionally hard to make the wedding a grand success….and nothing pleases you more when at the end of it all- your efforts are heartfully appreciated. 

Peace always..