I doubt if there is any college student out there today who hasn’t heard of facebook. Almost everyone who has heard of it are also probably using this super-popular social networking website and helping Mr.Zuckerberg laugh his way to the billion dollar bank accounts.
However, I do keep bumpig into some really lame and annoying 'occurances' on facebook. I am pretty sure you too must have often come across some really really dumb instances on facebook. Things that people do and put up that's just a smelly load of bullcrap and makes you want to roll up your eyes and say 'Weirdo!!' . So today, I’ll be offering some tips to those few who actually read my articles every week, about how not to become a douchebag on facebook.
Note: I am not claiming to being a pro at facebook’ing and neither am I claiming that I am completely, utterly and compulsorily correct.
So here is the 'gyaan' (Oh and it FREE by the way...
1. You update your facebook status message. I’m fine with that, completely fine. But you cannot and must not ever ‘like’ your own status message after updating it. The same applies to updating your relationship status or adding a photo and then liking it yourself first. Dude, that is just pure dumb. It only shows how obsessed you are with you own sad darn life.
2. This one’s related to relationship status as well. Please do not be so desperate for attention
and ‘facebook alerts’ (the tiny red comic bubble with that magic number in white inside it signifying
that there is, after all, someone who actually ‘cares’ about you and what you do) so as to update your relationship status to ‘engaged’ or ‘in a relationship’ and then changing it back to ‘it’s complicated’ .
Personally, there’s no such thing as it's complicated in relationships. You are either ‘in’ or ‘out’, so man up and face the truth, buddy.
3. Never put up a status message that reads BRB . No one really cares man? There is probably no one in this universe who cares if you have gone for a washroom-break for a minute. You are not going to be missed. So please, BRB is a strict no-no as a status message.
4. Adding a profile picture that shows you clicking a picture of yourself in a mirror, with you staring at the cellphone screen in your hand is lame. Come on man, you have more than a hundred friends and that not one of them had five seconds to spare to click a decent picture of you? Really?
5. Keeping a continuous tab on the newly added ‘tickr’ sidebar and then claiming to have caught your friend ‘like’ing and then remove like (unlike) your status message (Yes, people actually do that) is not the right thing to do. Stalker!!
6. Becoming the first person to like the ‘new picture added’ by that hot girl in your class will definitely not put you on the speedboat to her heart my friend.
7. Do not ever leave a message that says "hey..have u chkd out dis hot chick xyz on ma friend list yet? " on your friend’s public wall. First of all, those braindead english spellings there, do NOT show that you are 'cool and hip and one of those sms people' . Next, the profiles are ‘public’ if you remember, so you typing all that horseshit on your friend's wall is visible to everyone on your friend's list man. If you however, DO intend to so that, then I have just one word for you - 'ShowOff!!'
8. Spamming your own photo with lots of comments on some silly issue that is not even slightly related to what is in the photo, in order to get into our walls in the ‘top new stories’ is not a good idea, please. If you have something to talk about, do it on your wall or as a private message conversation. We really do not care what your cat had for lunch written beneath a picture of you in the Bahamas with holding a pina-colada. That is the definition of ‘they don’t go together’.
So, all you facebooking folks out there, Pray keep these tips in mind to avoid being viewed as an obnoxious individual with an obesessive compulsive disorder to put up the most unwanted status messages on facebook earning the ‘facebook douchebag of the year’.
special thanks to my 'brethar' Murali Gumpeny for proofreading this blog for me.. cheers bro!
peace..
;-)
