Dear Neighbor’s dog,
Until last Sunday, I was fairly content with your existence in the apartment right above mine. Yes, I do feel bothered by your occasional bursts of paw-thumps in the middle of the night. I can only imagine you do that at 12:30am to test the sudden urge to reassure yourself that your legs are still attached to your body. I could not imagine any other reason why you would run around randomly in the middle of the night.
However, I have had no complaints about your midnight-running-exercise - since I had gotten used to them. My brain taught itself to effectively ignore these noises just like those fancy noise-cancellation earphones claim they do.
Things changed last week though. Let me refresh your memory on the series of events that took place that day.
I was sitting on my couch staring outside the window, marvelling at the first perfectly sunny day that we were having after a terribly cold winter. I heard your footsteps on the wooden staircase out side my front door.
I saw you casually stroll on the walkway right across my valued patch of lawn.
Now, let me take this chance to remind you of the fact that I value this tiny patch of green grass quite a bit. I love its fresh green color and the fact that it is slowly coming back to all its glory after that awful winter we just had.
Coming back to the series of events…
You had stopped strolling.
Your head then slowly turned to peer into my house.
Our eyes met.
You slowly took four steps to land on a spot on my lawn.
I stared at you and you stared right back at me.
At this point I had a hunch that you were up to no good.
We were in a stare-off contest, I realized.
You maintained your stare. You did not blink at all.
And with utter disregard to my love of my green patch- - proceeded to take a dump right on my previous patch of grass while still staring at me.
At that instant, I think I even saw your mouth curl up a little as if you were smiling ever so slightly.
You then casually just walked away, breaking our stare-off contest.
You could have at least looked away or even blinked. But there was not a single iota of guilt in you while you performed this blasphemous act and that disgusted me. As a result, You, sir have now earned a permanent spot on my list of ‘most hated’. Just saying.
Your very disgruntled and annoyed neighbor.
